


You sad creature

by cozyblanket



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Amnesia, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety in general, Athazagoraphobia, Emotions, Enter: Secret badass Papyrus, F/M, Fluff <3 when u need it, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Identity Issues, LITERALLY, Loneliness, Memory Loss, Mystery, Rating May Change, Reader is a Hermit, Sadness, Sans is...lowkey a jerk?, Self-Discovery, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, Waterfall (Undertale), also, and gets called out on it, ao3 wth, honestly if i didn't have any friends papyrus would probably be my BFF, i will add tags as i go to avoid too many spoilers, identity crisis, let's just say it's complicated - Freeform, literally inspired by the waterfall area, no beta we die, slow start, why is that tag in all caps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25962010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cozyblanket/pseuds/cozyblanket
Summary: It’s dripping everywhere. And the silence is so beautiful. There’s numbness to it but it doesn’t mean anything. The sky had always been grey and that’s fine. Continue and everything will be fine. Come on now, close your eyes. You’re alright.Just breathe.
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale) & Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 57
Kudos: 91





	1. Alone in Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! So this is the long slow burn fic I was talking about. This child was born on the 14.08.2019 or at least that's what my word-document tells me...
> 
> So! Yeah! I've been writing this one for a year on and off - basically whenever I feel like it.
> 
> So the style of the writing changes as I write more and more (which I hope it means I'm improving...)
> 
> This is not the first fic I've written but the first one I feel like is good enough to actually post. I cringe reading my older writing....ugh
> 
> Tomorrow (actually, like in an hour technically lol) is my birthday. And lately things haven't been so good; stressful family situation and so on. I've been a little bummed out. So I was like: Hey, why not post this today as a birthday present to yourself?
> 
> And yeah, here we are! Enjoy!

Dark

_Drip…_

.

.

.

_Drop…_

.

.

.

Quiet.

.

.

.

_Drip…_

.

.

.

_Drop…_

.

.

A complete silence. Only the sound of water droplets rhythmically hitting the blue cavern floor was heard.

Anything else was dead to the world.

A serene peace.

No one was here.

_You were alone_ , lying in the tall sea-grass that was your bed. Above you was a ceiling that you didn’t see but knew that if you came into a sitting position would graze the top of your head.

The darkness didn’t bother you. You knew you were safe here.

This cave was home. Tucked nicely away in a corner that was now yours.

Far away from other visitors. Far away that no one knew you existed.

There was only one entrance to which you needed to crawl through if you wanted to leave or enter. The cave itself was barely enough to house one person.

But it was enough for you. It was quiet here. Peaceful.

By your side was a brown cloth; wrapped in it was a pink crystal that was the size of your hand and always shined continuously a bright light.

It was your guiding lantern. You found it once on the floor. In one of the rooms that was littered with crystals and gems, you believed it was called the wishing room. It had broken off from the ceiling, leaving its brethren crystals to shine on without it.

When you didn’t need it you tucked it in the brown cloth (which also served you as a cloak) so you could sleep in peace, in the dark.

Here in the darkness there wasn’t much to do but to sleep.

So when you couldn’t sleep you would go exploring.

Exploring…

You said that…but there wasn’t really anything to explore. At least not here. And you wouldn’t go further than the blue caves stretched and the water quietly carried.

Still…

You hadn’t been in a long time to the echo flower fields. You usually did not particularly like them since it was pretty noisy there and the Echo Flowers just kept on repeating till the words spoken to them became a screechy garbled mess…but…the water there was pretty. It glowed a turquoise glow. You could watch it all day.

Well…why not? You huffed, a stroll would be certainly a nice change for the day.

_There was nothing else to do anyway._

Carefully sitting up, you took a hold of the crystal lantern, unwrapping it. Immediately everything became tinted in a slight pink glow around you. You squeezed your eyes a little together as they adjusted to the sudden brightness.

Slowly you crawled through the entrance of your cave, when you stood up, you wrapped yourself in your cloak, effectively covering the top part of your body and head – it fit you like a short raincoat.

Looking forward you began the journey to the echo flower field. The way itself wasn’t too far – you just needed to get through the dark mushroom mazes which wasn’t a problem with your crystal light, and then you just needed to go straight past the two waterfalls and little caverns until you came to the place where a small bird monster usually would loiter around, offering anyone who would ask a lift across the small gap to the other side of the echo flower fields.

You always just jumped over the gap.

As you continued on your way, the surroundings became much brighter. You were now in the more populated areas, however as fate wanted it no one was around. No any monster today had left their home it seemed which meant it was probably an off day. No work.

Coming to the place of the gap even the little bird was nowhere to be seen.

Carefully you jumped over the gap of glowing water, wandering further to one of the bridges where you would frequently sit down when you visited.

However you saw that the spot where you had planned to sit down was already occupied.

_You recognized them._

On the bridge sat a small and white monster; its form resembling a teardrop with two legs that languidly dangled over the bridge. Their black pupils of eyes kept looking at the water below them.

No one else seemed to be around. It was deathly quiet. Only the flow of the water and hushed murmuring from the Echo Flowers nearby added to the tranquil ambience.

Gradually you came closer to the monster that was lounging at your spot with its back to you. Hearing your quiet steps; when you were a small distance away, the small monster finally noticed your presence.

As they turned to you, they asked, “What’s a star?”

“A star?” You quietly echoed.

They nodded. “I’ve been asking, but no one knows.”

Looking expectantly at you, they continued, “Can you touch it? Can you eat it? Kill it?”

After a slow pause they asked, “Are you…a star?”

…

“I’m…not a star.”

“…oh.” You saw them deflate, turning back to the water.

For a moment it was quiet, then the small monster looked up again, something like realization flashing in its gaze. “You’re not a star…” They repeated, sounding like they were held in a trance.

You nodded, waiting to see where their thought process was going, their eyes not leaving yours.

It took a minute and before long they spoke again.

“But then…”

“…what are you?”

.

.

_Drip…_

.

.

_Drop…_

.

.

“I…”

What are you?

“…don’t…”

What are you?

“…”

What are you?

_What are you?_

_What are you?_

_What are you?_

**_Don’t you know?_ **

“I’m not sure…” You whispered.

Cold. It felt so cold.

“I think…I forgot…”

When you looked up, you saw the monster leaving.

“I’m sorry…” But your throat burned.

.

.

_D r i p . . ._

.

.

_D r o p . . ._

.

.

“…that you did too.”


	2. Alone in Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amidst grey, there was red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do recommend to listen to Quiet Water ~~(genocide version)~~ for this fic. It gets you more in the mood. ;)
> 
> And another chapter, yay! Because it was my birthday I will treat you! :D  
> (I had actually wanted to update the chapter yesterday but somehow is slipped my mind...and uh, I fell asleep, so yeah pfff)
> 
> Slowly, I will update all the fic's until we are on the current stand of my writing. Then we will take a break here because I'm super exited to introduce you to my newest fic. :)))  
> Currently as of writing this - two chapter are already done, and right now it's the fic I enjoy writing the most. It's a fresh breath in the air and I love it.
> 
> I won't tell you what it is about but I will give you the title: Head of the House

_How long have you been here?_

_Does it matter?_

Opening your eyes, you met with a ceiling that you knew but didn’t hold as familiar.

You had dozed off in the flower fields, the lightning crystal kept close to your chest – its light veiled by the cloak – and your form concealed and hidden amidst the vegetation and lush verdure.

Your body was heavy and cold, like another person was sitting on top of you, pushing you down.

Rising up, you surveyed the area – absently fixing your hood so it covered your head and the upper part of your face again. There were monster now here and there, scurrying and moving around. You observed monster children playing hide-and-seek in the tall grasses and heard them laughing when they had found one of their hiding friends. Farther away you saw a couple sitting together, leaning on each other lovingly while whispering something fond to one another.

From the direction of the caves you also saw one sea-horse monster coming out with what seemed to be frozen treats, giving one to their friend nearby.

It was loud and lively.

But despite that everything just looked grey to you.

Dull.

You felt empty.

_Why?_

Deciding to leave, you went up, going somewhere quieter with less people and deeper into the echo flower fields.

You stopped your brisk pace once the laughter and murmuring whispers faded away in the calm of the waterfalls and a new sound, a hitting and splashing noise, protruded forth in your eardrums.

Slowly you parted away the tall foliage of grass to the side as you pursued the new noise with curiosity.

It didn’t take long to place it. It came from the tall monster several meters ahead of you.

You watched in quiet awe as the monster conjured a row of white and blue bones sprouting up like plants from the earth, sending them railing into the direction of the intended target: a practice dummy.

The monster did this two more times, another row from the air up and a barrage at an angle to the side. You think you heard it huffing, from afar you think you could see its face being marred into tense concentration.

No sooner than you could question, you felt the air tighten, charged in electricity and on your skin there was the sensation of… _was that wind blowing?_

Your eyes widened and you found yourself stopping, stiffening in the patch of grass that you were hiding amid.

The air crackled but you couldn’t avert your eyes away from the sight before you to pay attention to its pleas.

You felt your throat dry up.

_Huge._

That was the only word.

It was bigger than any of the other attacks that the monster had materialized.

And it wasn’t a simple bone either…

No, this looked like the head of an animal skull. _A big animal skull._

And that wasn’t even the end of it. A load whirring noise, like loading something up, charging, came from the monstrosity and _the thing was opening its maw…a n d…_

The dummy was no more.

There was just a loud, booming five second flash and left was charred ground with a little black smoke cloud that vanished just as quickly.

…

You plumed down to the ground, realizing only now how tight you had held onto the stalks of the tall sea-grass as it came down with you, reluctantly you released it from your hold, making it spring up again to its normal height.

Your flailing shock didn’t go unheard however.

The monster’s face crossed to a look of surprise when it spotted you. “Oh! Hello!” The boisterous and masculine voice that of a man echoed through the otherwise silent caverns.

Straightening his posture, he flung his red scarf back like a cape and came closer to you, stopping at a two feet distance. “I didn’t expect anyone to be here!”

At this radius you could finally make out the powerful monster that had quite literally stolen your breath away. His appearance was similar to that what would be an anatomically inaccurate human skeleton. Head to big, bones to thick, not to mention that a human couldn’t pull faces with bone like he seemed to be able.

The skeletal monster wore a white, golden trimmed, chest plate which had an upside down triangle engraved on the left side of it, a pair of blue legless underpants and red knee-high boots. His hands were covered by his red mittens and around his neck was the equally red scarf that you had noticed before. Underneath he had what you thought to be a spandex suit that covered all his bones, but his neck and face, in black.

After the skeleton took a better look at you, his face suddenly became _knowing_ , eye sockets blowing wide with- _Was that a sparkle..?_

“Could it be…?! Were you watching me train?”

Unsure of answering, you just nodded. _Had that been rude? Oh, it probably was…_

Shocked the monster inhaled like he couldn’t believe it, “Oh my, so it’s true! I _have_ a secret admirer!”

_Secret admirer?_

Well, when you thought about it, he wasn’t entirely wrong. You _had_ ‘admired’ his magic and _had_ done so in discreet…but how he had said it sounded a bit odd. Carefully you stood up again, to face the monster properly.

“I knew it wouldn’t take long until people would finally realize my greatness!”

You knew he expected you to say something when his gaze stayed on you but you had no idea what he was talking about or what he wanted you to say.

After a while he relented and took the initiative, “SO?!”

“So…?” You repeated clueless.

“So, what do you think? I’m strong, right? Would I…make it into the Royal Guard?”

_Royal Guard? That sounded… familiar._

You mulled over that weird feeling for a while before the inpatient tapping of a boot prompted you to refocus on the question; awed by what you saw and deciding to be honest, you answer, “I think you would.”

“Really?” He sounded surprised.

You frowned, becoming thoughtful as you reassured him. “I have never seen an attack that strong like that big skull you materialized. If it’s strength that the Royal Guard needs, then I think you have more than enough of it.”

The monster before you chuckled, sounding oddly emotional for a short moment before he again picked up his spirits. “Thank you, new friend!”

‘New friend?’ You were climbing ranks fast, it seemed.

He smiled heartwarmingly, “I think I’ve never seen a monster like you around!”

You shrugged, explaining, “That’s because I don’t go out here often. There are always a lot of people around.”

“Are you a ghost then? You don’t really look like one…but then again I’ve only ever seen one ghost! And they…eh, aren’t around much either. What was their name again…? Spooky Bloo Bloo?” He shook his head, stopping his musings and focusing on you again.

“Oh! I forgot I didn’t even introduce myself! I’m Papyrus! Although as my fan I’m sure you already knew that! You can call me ‘The Great Papyrus’!”

And then he asked you, “What’s your name, new friend?”

You stilled.

And the world stopped.

As a pit, deep where your heart lied, opened.

Papyrus was looking at you, waiting for you to tell him. And it was shaking cold.

You were afraid.

You wanted the blissful numbness back.

_Don’t think about it._

_Just don’t think about it…_

_Ple a s e—_

A mittened hand on your shoulder brought you back from despair.

“Friend?” The monster was angling his head, trying to see your face with the hood partially in the way.

You were probably looking through him when the frown that Papyrus carried didn’t lift; seeing past him only the background but even then you could hear it in his voice: worry.

He was worried.

And it pushed you to act, to finally say, _to answer…_

“I…don’t know.”

“What—”

“I don’t know my name.”

…

“I think…I forgot.”

“That’s…” Papyrus was quiet now, feeling obviously troubled if the unsure hovering of his hands was any indication.

You couldn’t bare it anymore. “I’m sorry.”

The look he shot you was self-evident; _‘why are you apologizing?’_

He didn’t ask out loud however, instead Papyrus put his gloved index-finger to his chin as he hummed thoughtfully, “Hmm…that certainly makes it difficult to address you, but fear not!” There was a spark again in his eyes.

“We will simply give you a new name!”

You felt warmth.

But…

“You don’t need to.”

“Hm?”

“You will forget me…”

_They all do._

“What are you saying friend? There’s no way I will forget a fan like you of mine!”

You shook your head, “You don’t understand… You won’t be able to remember.”

You peered into the depth of his eye sockets, gaze piercing him - _resigned._ With a sadness of…loss.

A loss you never had or was truly yours to call to begin with. You hadn’t deserved that much.

“When we meet again you won’t know me.” You hated it, how sure you sounded, _how you knew_ – it made your throat burn. A sickness in your lung. The sheer _wrongness_.

For a fleeting second Papyrus looked sullen, a little struck… but despite that it passed quickly, the magic around him rattled loudly of sudden confidence as he returned your gaze – not giving up, determined he spoke, “I guess we have to see that. If you don’t believe me…,” he took a breath, his voice becoming booming by the next syllable, “I will just have to show you! ‘The Great Papyrus’ never forgets his friends!”

Rooted to a place, the cavern around you echoed _loudly_ his last sentence until it became too small to hear and faded into nothing. You almost jumped when the Echo Flowers around you merged into a chorus and began to repeat it too – his hopeful words.

_What-_

“…have to…”

“…show you! show you!”

“…believe…”

“…to see…we have to see…”

“…Great…The Great…”

“…forgets…never forgets…never for-”

“…friends-”

You grimaced when some of the words would pierce your ears uncomfortably. That was why you didn’t like them; the flowers. The screeching would for at least a week taint this part of the complex now.

When you looked over to Papyrus who also like you was stunned at what his voice just had done to the entire cave, you felt a tickling sensation in your gut. His face just continued to pale… and was that embarrassment?

The mood had been so somber but now you felt almost like laughing.

Once the noises died down, _~~you didn’t want it to~~_ , Papyrus spoke again - _in a squeak_ , “I’m still standing by what I said!”

…

_Fighting this was useless wasn’t it?_

Even if Papyrus didn’t understand…he wouldn’t know any better anyway when your existence would be erased from his mind. And for now…he was looking so expectant at you.

“Okay.” You relented.

“Okay?!” Papyrus immediately perked up.

…

“Yeah…”

_It was okay._

_For now._

You didn’t know if Papyrus’ grin got bigger. It was hard to tell. He always ‘smiled’ – after all he was a skeleton.

But it felt warm.

…

_It made you want to smile too._

You tried to concentrate on Papyrus’ ramblings as he thought of good names and nicknames to call you. At some point the talk shifted to other topics and both of you found each other sitting on the bare cave floor when Papyrus began to talk about his culinary expertise in the kitchen.

You hardly noticed the time move.

It didn’t even register in your head when your parted ways. Papyrus announcing he needed to go home and shouting a ‘See you tomorrow!’ while getting smaller in smaller in the distance – ripping his existence from your vision.

You had hovered only, your hand raised to a half-wave – stock-still.

And when you were at your cave; back home, your eyes were glazed over. A fog in them as they watched dully the wall – _looking through._

Dark.

You stood like a statue carved out of stone, like you were part of the cave, part of the environment – still and unmoving.

Quiet.

It felt like just a moment ago – a minuscule second – you had been over to the Echo Flowers and now you were back here. How did you come back? You couldn’t recall. _Drip. Drop._

Damp.

Your body curled progressively up. Knees to torso.

Cold.

So cold. Right side feeling so cold, pressed against humid floor. The cavern above you dripping.

_Drip._

.

.

.

_Drop._

.

.

.

Darkness.

_You were alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Don’t worry the dummy was not inhabited.)


	3. Alone in Misery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3! Right before my favorite chapter. Stay tuned!

_When had you closed your eyes?_

…

When your eyes opened willfully to the dark, you felt…apprehension. This was…

It shouldn’t affect you. But now you just wanted time to freeze.

Papyrus…he…

_Don’t dwell on it._

_It’s gone._

He had promised to meet you again.

_Everything’s gone._

He had said ‘See you tomorrow!’…

_But it’s all gone._

…

He wanted…he _had_ wanted to give you a name.

_Yeah…_

Could the earth just swallow you up now? You didn’t want to move for months at least. Just hobbling up in this cave for eternity, until you would just cease to be.

This shouldn’t affect you. Why did you care?

_The Great Papyrus…_

“ _…he never forget his friends…_ ” you mumbled out, something that had stuck to you.

That was…

He was overconfident. He didn’t know.

_Quit on hopping._

But…would a look be so bad? Just one? Today?

_You will make it for yourself just worse._

By the Echo Flowers…

_But you didn’t care about that…_

It was more than foolish but you had the decision already made when you began to leave the cave. You knew it would hurt. Maybe you were already preparing for it. Because ahead of you always lied only disappointment.

You were getting quicker, picking up more speed on the way, your heart becoming impatient. As if that would make him appear faster. It only shortened the time of your illusion, making this process of disappointment all the faster. _Just get it over with._

By the end of your goal, you were left panting for breath – having ran the last minute at your full speed.

Thump-thump, you could hear it. The heartbeat pounding in on your ears. You looked wildly around.

No one…

“Phua…Pha-Papyrus…?” you huffed.

No answer. He wasn’t here. And you didn’t know if he would. He said ‘tomorrow’ but you didn’t know when that was or would be. You had no way of telling the time.

This could take the whole day.

Scratch that…it would take forever.

It’s better to not know. So, why were you still waiting in the grass at the same spot you both had parted? The answer was obvious anyway. He didn’t remember.

_He sure had been in a hurry…_

_‘Smiling’ so brilliantly, going home…_

_Getting finally away from you…_

_Leaving you…_

He had been so happy to go away. There’s no way he would come back. Why? You understood. His home must be really great.

He must be really happy there. And that’s good. He should be.

…

You sat down on the patch, hugging your legs to you and tightening the cloak around you.

“ _…we will simply give you a new name…_ ” you leaned your head on your knees, closing your eyes.

Papyrus had tried. He would tell you of his amazing idea and see you not reacting to his suggestion, then he would come up with another attempt receiving the same feedback from you and this would continue for some time, until he informed you that there’s no rush to make such an important decision and that there would be plenty of time, delaying your naming for the ‘next best time’ as he had said.

You had tried to understand. Papyrus just seemed he couldn’t choose.

And didn’t he want to? Wasn’t he who wanted to name you?

…

Was…it actually a hard thing to do? Coming up with a name?

You opened your eyes. What use was it to dwell on that? This could only distract you that much from what you already knew. There would be no ‘next best time’. Nor would you get a name, which would go forgotten anyway.

There would be silence.

Drip. Drop.

Only water.

You would be alone.

_You already were—_

“Nnfh…”

…

How meek.

_This was a bad idea._

Curling up and making yourself small wouldn’t make you disappear, yet you tried anyway.

Clutching desperately at yourself, you were unable to get a hold on your body. It was too big.

Your hands were too small. It couldn’t hold it all. You continued writhing.

…

You felt something poking you. At your abdomen.

…

You stiffened, stopping your twisting.

Your eyes widened when you looked down. A light shining.

_Your crystal lantern._

Somehow in your panic you still had been able to take it with you. You reached out to it. Slowly. Correcting your hold on it, you brought it to your chest almost delicately, feeling comforted by the light and familiar object.

Holding it there, it felt like your second heart. A pink heart. A pink crystal heart.

…

How funny.

You breathed out; filled calm and…numb.

Ha. See? Wasn’t this better? Why did— _no, had you cared anyway?_

This was so much easier.

Ha. Ha. _Everyone should just for—_

You startled badly when the sea-grass near you rustled. It parted. And a voice protruded forth through the otherwise deathly quiet cave.

“Hello? Someone there?”

No way.

You didn’t dare move. Denial immediately your fist emotion, because how else would— _could you react?_ The rustling stopped and before you stood the existence you had bemoaned all this time since you came here.

Papyrus.

What was he doing here?

…

The seconds where he continued to stay still, not saying anything, were the most painful.

Say something!

…

Did he forget?

Dread wanted to consume you again but the numbness fought back, so you didn’t do anything either, just staring at him like he did. However you couldn’t help the desperation from your face. A plea.

_Did you forget?_

Briefly you thought to see a spark in his eye-sockets; and it confirmed when Papyrus finally moved, changing his posture, recognition flaring in those hollow openings and—

“Friend!”

…

_Friend._

_Yes, friend! He didn’t forget!_

What was this happiness? Victory? It felt like victory. The skeleton took a seat beside you on the floor, beaming at you. “I was unsure if you were going to be here today. I’m glad that I went to look anyway. I had said I wanted to meet again but…uh, I never specified the date or time…” he chuckled awkwardly, one of his gloved hands going behind his head, “I had been a little worried…”

Your lips curled softly up. “You haven’t forgotten me.”

Papyrus turned his head towards you; there was a hidden resolve mixed in when he spoke, “Of course. Didn’t I tell you so?”

He was right.

_‘The Great Papyrus never forgets his friends.’_

“Yeah.” You agreed. It was a soft but sturdy reply.

‘You are awesome’, left brusquely your mouth.

Papyrus sputtered at that, not expecting the sudden compliment. Maybe you were a little too happy about this. This was new. You never had this. A friend. Hobbled up in that cave, you had stayed by yourself most of the time. Now everything was happening so fast.

You had already given up when you had woken up this day; wanting only to torture yourself more with what you had thought to be a lost cause by going to the Echo Flowers.

…

It really had been a bad idea to come here. But you’re glad it turned out alright.

…

Subtly, while Papyrus was immersed in his talking, you tucked your shaking hands away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems you've finally made a friend for good.
> 
> Papyrus: Owo
> 
> ...what a gem he is.


	4. In accompany of a Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend time with Papyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4! The start of where I would say my writing changes its format; or aka, 'there-are-more-words-lol'. We are still not there. Chapter 5 and 6 would be a better representation to that statement.  
> But nonetheless it's the beginning of me writing this story more...uh, in my current style??
> 
> Anyway, chapter 4! Honestly, kind of a fan-favorite?? Since I'm finally posting them here, I'm re-reading them and the end of this one always makes me smile a little. One another note; Because I'm re-reading them, I got kind of in the mood and started working on chapter 7 again.
> 
> I'm a slow pony. I admire those that manage to write a chapter in a week and update lol  
> I also get burned out quickly when I focus on one thing, kind of why I started writing another story. But I guess?? That one is now on semi-pause??? Because I started writing this again???? (•ิ_•ิ)

Meeting up with Papyrus had become an almost daily thing in the past weeks. Papyrus would often be amazed at how punctual and often early you were to your gatherings, but that was because you actually never went home. You didn’t tell Papyrus that. Simply not seeing the point. You had relocated your residency to the echo flower fields, the spot where you both had met.

It was both easier and more relaxing to simply wait for him there then to go in a pendulum back and forth. Besides you needn’t worry, your cave was protected as it was tucked away in a far corner; who most would miss, and there was nothing left behind that was of value. 

The brown cloak and pink crystal were at your side always. When sleeping in the foliage of grass stalks, you would hug them to your chest so you wouldn’t lose or forget where your possessions were the next day.

Papyrus of course couldn’t visit you every time. He had responsibilities. He would tell you about his days and the times when he couldn’t visit you. Most of the time it included patrolling the area in his home town and recalibrating puzzles for potential humans to come. 

Your friend had explained that to impress the royal guard he needed to catch a human. One particular day he had been quieter. It was immediately noticeable because there had been actual pauses in your conversations…

You always listened; _loved to._ You had tried to take part as good as you could into the conversations but Papyrus showed to be the domineering talker in the topics you discussed. He was very strong. His personality too. You didn’t mind that. It was soothing to listen to him even when he repeated himself.

So when there had been an undeniable silence between the both of you…

You shuddered. It had been an unnerving image to have Papyrus sit next to you _quiet, having nothing to talk about…and his expression was…_

To be honest, it was no surprise that hadn’t last for long. Because of course you had asked him what was wrong. And Papyrus _…you could recall it clearly…_

_“It’s—…” the monster, beside you stopped himself again. Probably thinking if that was something he should share with his new friend; and you understood the need for privacy. So one last time you tried, “Papyrus what’s bothering you?” There was sweat glistering on his skull; Papyrus huffed, wiping at his forehead. “My superior…Undyne, she’s the head of the royal guard,” he began, “… and recently I got to convince her to give me real warrior training.”_

_His hand stayed as he was thinking. “It’s taking just a really long time…” Then in a whisper you heard._

_“I…want her to be proud of me.”_

_“Papyrus—” He shook his head, silencing you and stopping your motions._

_The monster looked over, an appreciated expression on his face, he softened. And you took a moment. Barely, again, you saw a spark. Resolve. Something determined. Familiar. And definitely from Papyrus._

_You were for a moment confused when Papyrus suddenly voiced ‘That’s it!’ like a really sudden but great idea hit him. His expression now spoke excitement._

_“I simply need to catch a human to impress her! Then she will— No, **must** let me in the royal guard!”_

And that’s how you ended up talking about that. Humans. More precisely: capturing humans. You hadn’t seen Papyrus since then; and you had a good guess what he probably was doing. He wanted to reach his goal and you wanted to help him. Except that there wasn’t really an effective way for you to help him. It was a dull waiting game and you would think Papyrus would be at least somewhat discouraged by that but in that department the skeleton just took after unlike any monster you’ve had known.

That was why he obviously wasn’t here today. You missed your friend. He got busier because he wanted to prove himself and you were right behind him. You understood and supported him. But… It still didn’t made the lonesomeness go away. You had only begun to get to know each other and now tragically your time together got cut in half.

Why was it that you wanted to be a little selfish?

You scratched at the dirt, lost in thought. No, this wouldn’t make it any better. Appreciation. Gratefulness. That was what was needed.

_Never forget that miracle…_

It was somewhat hard to feel but you tried your best.

The next time you met Papyrus you were dozing off in the grass. Wobbled you pried the sleep away, eyes opening to see a familiar sight.

“Hello friend!” the monster greeted cheerfully like always.

“Hello Papyrus…” You were more soft-spoken in your words. Something the skeleton had picked up on after your continuous meetings; it was also one reason why, when you would say something, he would pay rapt attention as to not miss anything. Sitting up, you let your hood fall to your shoulders from the movement; you had grown comfortable enough to let it down in his presence so you could see him better and vice versa.

Like many times before your friend took a seat next to you and time moved. What did you talk about? When you were in the company of your new friend time gave the feeling of just not being there. It was all too fast. Now, even faster. You talked a good five hours; he talked of his worries, his plans, the puzzles he made, the hopeful outlook he had for his new training and you listened, he would talk about his hometown then – Snowdin. It was actually more like a rural village than a town – as it had a ‘countryside feeling’ to it, he explained. It was very much still a town by its size but the community was very tight-knit, everyone knew everyone and what everyone was doing because everyone talked to everyone. They looked out for each other.

And Snowdin didn’t mean to lack any establishments, while admitting he sparsely visited the pub for the grease there, the locals had access to several small shops, an inn for the occasional visitor and a library which they called a ‘Librarby’ for some reason. (You didn’t get the joke, much to Papyrus’ disappointment.) Snowdin even had a school, though they lacked a mayor.

It sounded nothing like Waterfall as Papyrus described it to you. It wasn’t quiet. Or calm. Snowdin was crowded and cold but also warm. Fuzzy. Like its inhabitants. Not anything you were used to.

And you learned, apparently some kind of ‘move’ was going on. The capital was getting crowded and monsters soon would start moving to Snowdin. Some local hamster had already complained it would result in the erasure of their culture they amassed there.

A culture clash. Huh.

When you heard that you were a little worried too, it made sense Papyrus hometown would be a more attractive location to move to and settle; however, what if they too hadn’t enough room to house in all the new-coming monsters? It made you worry that some would choose to settle in Waterfall. You didn’t want it to get crowded here and you also worried for your cave.

It might not seem like it but Waterfall was already busily swarming or _swimming_ , it wasn’t crowded but it was _enough_. Enough for it to still be a quiet place. The monster here just stuck to the shadows and waters that was why it _looked_ empty. Deserted, when no one was at the shop buying nice-cream. Quiet, when there wasn’t a lone symphony being sung. And peace, when no children ran through the fields.

No one counted in the water. But you knew there were enough eyes already there.

A quiet people.

…

You continued listening as Papyrus told you about some Snowdin custom that entailed giving gifts. The light worry gnawing at you until you finally could immerse yourself in one of the stories your friend was retelling. Time flew and slithered, a story coming to an end and Papyrus leaving.

You waved.

And sunk down to the earth, head reeling with a many things. Eyes dully at the ceiling, yet again awaiting his return. At least, when he was leaving, he gave you something to think about. It kept the dread at bay. Other than listening to the water drops, counting its pitiful pitter-patter.

You wouldn’t sleep.

_Drip… Drip…_

_Drop… Drop…_

Papyrus came over. He left.

_Drip…_

…

Papyrus came over again.

…

He needed to go.

_Drop…_

…

He visited again.

…

And left.

…

He didn’t come over.

_Drip…_

…

You waited.

…

_Drop…_

He didn’t come again.

…

You waited.

_Drip…_

…

He didn’t come for three days.

…

…

You waited.

_Drip… Drop…_

_Drip… Drop…_

…

…

…

Papyrus came.

“Hello friend!”

You smiled. “Hello Papyrus.” You had missed him. You _hadn’t_ made a promise to each other that you would meet every day, so you really had no right to be upset, yet it didn’t change that in his absence you pined for his companionship and grieved quietly when he wasn’t there to give it to you. With every time he visited you grew better at it. His regular visits brought trust. You weren’t as anxious or afraid anymore. You were sure now that when Papyrus left he would also come back.

Your past-self would have thought it ridiculous, and maybe a small and tiny part of you still did, with how quick you had grown attached. But there was no danger of him forgetting and for once you didn’t call it a mistake. Plus Papyrus was genuinely a nice person, you couldn’t have a more amazing friend than him. Besides of how he sometimes played himself up to be and his silliness, the jokes, the ‘tough-guy’ persona – there laid a gentle monster. With a thoughtfulness that was _so_ _much_ that it was in need of hiding.

Your friend shuffled over to his spot and sat down. You noted his demeanor being a little subdued today.

For a moment there was quiet and you thought Papyrus needed to sort out his thoughts so he could decide on a topic. It surprised you when he actually asked a question. He didn’t do that anymore since the time when he asked your name and you freaked out; avoiding to cause more grief.

“How was your day?”

“It was fine…”

…

Hm? What? What was that?

Papyrus began again, “Do you…remember me talking about my brother?”

Brother? Papyrus’ Brother? Oh! Yeah, you remembered. One time you talked about family. Well…Papyrus did. He sidestepped to ask you anything, content to answer your questions. You learned he had a brother. In fact it was only him and his brother. His brother’s name was Sans.

He was really lazy and did anything to… _what did Papyrus call it? ‘Tickle his funnybones?’_ You didn’t really have a clue what that meant. Despite how Papyrus talked about his brother you had a feeling it was meant in an affectionate way.

“Well he wants to meet you.”

You froze. What. 

“He asked me where I went to, and I told him I was visiting a new friend. He was really happy. I told him next time I would bring him along, that is – I would ask you first.”

Brother? Meet Papyrus’ brother? Sans?

“I think it’s a good idea.”

Huh? Wait. _Waitwaitwaitwaitwait—_

You grabbed him by his upper arm – the humerus, trying to cope while your nervous system was making backflips with theses unforeseen news. Papyrus looked surprised, gazing down at your hand. Right, this was the first time you actually came physically in touch with each other and you had initiated it. There was always a polite distance which you just had broken. You couldn’t help it. You felt like breaking. Was your heart breaking?

“Papyrus…I don’t know…if that’s…” the words get stuck in your throat. He picked up on it, “What are you worried about friend? If it’s Sans…don’t worry!” He waved. “He might like to tease and pick on me! But! I won’t let him be unnecessary mean to you!”

You needed to get it out of your system. Forget. Forget. _Forget._

Deep breaths. In. And out. _Tell him._

“He…will forget me…” Papyrus stilled, you felt gloved fingers on the hand that was holding onto him.

“Is…” he furrowed the frontal bone like brows and started anew, “I’ve been thinking…did…that happen…?” You squeezed your eyes shut. “People…forgot you?”

You nodded, whispering, “They never remember…” but then you moved your eyes to him, “you’re…the only one.”

_The only one who remembered._

_The only one who didn’t forget._

_The only one who knew you – your existence._

The only one who stayed.

“That’s really horrible…” Huh? Oh. It was nice of him trying to comfo— “And incredibly rude!”

…

Rude? You blinked. Perhaps…he still thought of it as volunteering? Focusing your eyes again on him you—stopped because _oh god_ , _his face!_ Papyrus looked like- like- Wha-? A mad goat? A grumpy cat? A pissed off dog?

Was this his ‘rude face’? The ‘very unpleased face’? He- he- oh, you couldn’t.

_You giggled._

NO!

He heard that!

_Look away, look away, look away!_

Your eyes met. That didn’t help.

“What?” he questioned. Hello, mortification.

“Nnh-nothing…” he quirked a boney brow in disbelief, “…just…you just made a funny face.” Noo, why did you confess that?! You were weak weren’t you? Couldn’t hide anything from him. Staring into the floor would better be your favorite activity now because there was no way you could look him now into the eye-sockets.

“A funny face…?” Oh god, you felt your ears burning. “Was it like… _this?_ ” Reluctantly you looked up again.

Papyrus made the same silly face, exaggerating some features.

And—

…

Let’s just say, you had laughed…a little too loudly.

You were ready to apologies, a hand covering your mouth; however, Papyrus bright smile halted you.

And what came next surprised you, making you unable to hide it anymore.

“You know, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about meeting my brother. He wouldn’t be able to forget you even if he wanted to.”

_“Because who wouldn’t want to know you?”_

Oh.

…

“Th-thank you, Papyrus…!” you hurriedly mumbled out, unable to suppress the watery intonation.

Oh. Oh. _Oh._

Hold it. Hold it. Ho—

Pat. Papyrus was touching your hair. Pat, pat. Petting you lightly.

…

Ah.

How nice of him.

The monster beside you let you be, not questioning or mentioning the pangs of hurt that spilled out, the sounds your throat conveyed or the substances that left your body, solely petting you, having you know that hey, he’s still here.

_You’re not alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comforting Papyrus, how fluffy. I would eat that. :-O
> 
> *Someone smacks me with a roll of Papyrus 
> 
> ತ_ತ `hey!`


	5. In accompany of a Bench

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (And it wasn’t that you were somewhat…well- _awkward._ Sans had met a fair amount of monsters that were far weirder than what you seemed to be, if he could call it that. But even with _weird_ he could do something. Weird could be quirky.
> 
> And you weren’t _that…_
> 
> _You were…_
> 
> …
> 
> Sans stopped searching for the answer that wasn’t there.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter fiveeee, here we go! Thank you for all your kind comments! It's always interesting to read what others think. I always try to answer/write back whenever I think I can add something to the discussion. To the comments I didn't reply to (I guess, I'm saying it now in the notes): I still appreciate you all <3 <3 <3 
> 
> ~~I just don't know what to reply back sometimes.~~
> 
> ~~This is especially at you SneakyFox; you're so sweet leaving a comment at each individual chapter,,, I'm just bad at accepting praise lol. And I don't want to be annoying by constantly writing thank you and showering you all with my hearts ❤ ❤ ❤ but I still want to show that I care!! So Ahhhh!!! >-> ~~  
> 
> 
> Next chapter will be next week! ...and then I'm out of chapters...uffff
> 
> I always want to write so much more in these notes...but then again I don't want to give anything away...before you actually read these...

_Laughter._

_What a beautiful laughter._

_Come on._

_Smile._

…

There was a new undeniable closeness between you and Papyrus. You hadn’t known where to sort your head out, so you ended up sitting on a lone bench in a secluded area that had what appeared to be a rotten pie (with eggs in it…?) underneath the accommodating comfort item.

You stumbled upon this room when you were wandering around searching for a way to clear your mind, a quiet place to reflect. Normally you wouldn’t ever want to travel that far again. The furthest you had been was the wishing room with the telescope, the very same room where you got your helpful crystal stone. After some loitering however you found, in the room where bridge seeds were used to get over the water, a hidden structured entrance to another room which was much smaller.

Some glowing rocks, a bench, a sole echo flower on your left and someone’s forgotten lunch.

A jackpot indeed.

Waterfall wasn’t really crowded to begin with, there were other regions that were considerably more thriving and lively. Monster here were more…evasive, lurking around in the darks and waters, and minding their own business, the community was quieter.

It fit you, you thought.

Dark and quiet.

Calming.

But…

Also lonely.

…

You just never realized.

It wasn’t even that long ago that you had thrived in it, cherished it, being happy to be left alone…and to an extent that part was _still true,_ only now you didn’t want it to be forever. Perhaps the boredom, the sleep, the lack of sensations…had dulled you.

You sighed, that wasn’t really what you wanted to reflect on. There were more…pressing issues like…Papyrus’ brother.

Sans.

While your friend had reassured you, unpleasant thoughts persisted, you were not fond of anything bad happening and hoped that things would stay the way they were.

Papyrus hadn’t forgotten you and you still wondered how he did it; what had been different? You were clueless. Maybe Papyrus was just really ‘special’, in some way that you hadn’t deciphered yet, and maybe… _Sans could be too?_

From what you learned and Papyrus had described, Sans was a whole other limb, contradicting to the entirety that your companion was in all manners. You had no clear idea what to expect, it worried you a little. Would he even like you? You were everything that Papyrus wasn’t; quiet, lustreless, boring, brooding, dull, unsocial…

You didn’t make a good friend, when you really thought about it…you were just kind of… _there_. You felt most of the time the only thing you could do assuredly was listen. Sometimes it helped but often times it wasn’t enough; the frustration, being incapable to help Papyrus with his plan, was unperturbedly present. 

You looked down, in contemplative dissatisfaction, to your feet.

Under the bench – the egg pie wiggled to your confusion. A line of hefty, little worker ants had found the forgotten meal, transporting crumbs to their hideout at an admirable fast pace, their movements tantalizing hypnotic. Waterfall was a damp swamp region; these ants must have adapted to the moisture.

_‘Magic ants…’_

Out of a whim, you reached your hand down, it didn’t take long for an ant to latch on and crawl around your palm – the ant went around in circles at first confused to have left the floor when your brought your hand up to inspect the critter more closely.

Apparently it didn’t like that, the sudden burning of acid on your hand clued you in.

Surprised by the pain; without purchase the insect was swung off from the spasms of your arm, leaving you to stare dejectedly at its aftermath – feeling taunted. With light fingertips you rubbed the agitated skin; after another look at the ants’ continuing work ethics you decided you didn’t care anymore. Turning around, so you faced the bench instead, you positioned your body to lie down and huddled more into your cloak.

It acquired only a trickling minute for your mind to leave conscience, fleeing the feeling of empty numbness.

_Drip…_

_._

_._

_._

_Drop…_

“Mhnf…” Opening your eyes, it took some slow processing – you were a little disoriented when you met with a grey wooded texture until you remembered where you fell asleep. Sitting up and rubbing the sleep of off your eyes, you noted the disgusting egg pie was gone, not even crumps left, you grimaced.

You felt bad, you hadn’t meant to sleep your existence away again…but you guessed bad habits die hard even when you had something to look forward to.

‘I better make my way back…Papyrus could visit…with his brother…’

When you stood up, the world was spinning; you gripped the bench’s railing to not lose footing, only letting go once the room wasn’t anymore three different moving images.

To not make the unexpected dizzy spell worse, you opted for a relaxing pace, you couldn’t pass out in the middle of the caverns – it would be dangerous. When you reached the ferry docks, after passing the wishing room, you stopped.

…

_You really didn’t want to resort to this…_

Nervously you pulled your hood down more, brown fabric profusely now invading your vision.

To your left you approached a pink monster whose round face was sticking out of the water.

Noticing you, standing before its dock, it said, “Ferry for 3G.”

You shivered. Okay, _breathe_. In. And out.

You tried not looking at its face for too long as its expression was terrifying, with careful steps you hopped onto the monster, squeezing your eyes shut for the duration of the trip.

Thankfully it didn’t last longer than a second of a splash.

Getting promptly off the monster, it wiggled, “Thanks for stepping on my face. Here’s the 3 gold.” And gave you three gold coins, not hiding its skewed appreciation.

Shakely you took the payment and continued.

Just as you were entering the area, not even past the Nice Cream shop, you hear a familiar, loud voice, “ _Frieeend!_ ”

Turning to the voice, there he was. Papyrus. Jogging towards you and—

“Uff…!” You found yourself on the ground, Papyrus above you with a somewhat stumped look. That was unexpected… He had _tackled_ you. By his expression however, he hadn’t meant to tackle you _to the ground_.

Ever since the time that he had comforted you all touch barriers and polite distances had shattered. It was like he had waited for it and that touch from you had been his permission. It was bizarre and you had the feeling Papyrus didn’t even realize how casual you were with each other now. By how he behaved it was as if you were old long-time friends; but sometimes he had this look – like now – it was a flicker – _quick_ , and then he was regarding you, like remembering for the first time that this was a sudden development, that it just happened – that this just started, and not even that long ago.

 _It all happened in a flicker_ ; and then the skeleton above you helped you up, clearly embarrassed for having forgotten his strength, behind him you heard a stranger’s chuckle.

Bells were chiming, _clang-clang_ , chains scraped against each other in a rattle – undoubtedly this was what you mind was screaming, _your time is up, clang-clang_.

…

In your presence was another monster.

There wasn’t even enough time to react, just as you finally stood upright, righting the top of your short coat, the newcomer introduced himself, “sup.” The voice much deeper and lower in contrast than that of the other monster next to you.

…

You just stared…for a moment.

It didn’t need a genius to be here to figure out who before you stood, even when you never had met this particular fellow before, it was clear. Papyrus’ brother. Sans.

He was…

Really short. You didn’t know why that was the first thing you noticed. Papyrus was always towering over you, even with both of you sitting he had an elevated view down on you…but Sans was the same height as you…

And he really was nothing like Papyrus when you looked at his clothes…they were very casual unlike the battle armor Papyrus constantly wore. A blue hoodie and white t-shirt, black short with one white stripe on each leg-side and…slippers…house slippers.

Sans like Papyrus also portrayed a very inaccurate version of a human skeleton; his head was rounder, grin a lot bigger and he had factual white eye lights in his eye-sockets which looked like they even glowed in the dark.

He moved a bony brow at you…

Oh. Right.

“H-hello.”

“heh,” he approached you, hand outstretched, “i’m sans. sans the skeleton, but i think you already know that.”

Only then could you observe that he also wore mittens like Papyrus just that his were a white color which previously had been hidden away in the pockets of his hoodie.

You hadn’t seen but Papyrus flashed a look of betrayal when you reached out hesitantly to shake Sans’ hand, the monster shortened the distance and grabbed your hand before you came naturally into contact, letting an obnoxious fart sound echo through the caverns.

Papyrus groaned and you heard the Echo Flowers nearby mimic the sound. Fart. Fart. Fart…

Apparently that cracked Sans up.

“hehe he, the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick.” He showed you his palm, tugging the sleeve of his hoodie a little down, making a pink whoopee cushion visible.

His gaze didn’t leave you, awaiting a reaction until Papyrus butted in, “Saaans! Stop playing tricks on my friend! You’ve invaded the whole cave with…with… _a really horrible sound!_ ”

“aww, did it _rattle_ you?” Sans teased. “besides, i think your friend likes it, right?” He turned to you again.

“Don’t encourage him!”

This was so weird…

You looked helplessly to Papyrus.

Noticing your eyes on him, he took charge. “Hmm…shall we go to our usual meeting spot?” He offered. Yeah, a familiar place would help leave the tension you were feeling, so you nodded.

While the three of you made it to the field, you looked over to your companions, remembering something.

“Were you searching for me? Sorry…I took a walk.” You tried to elucidate, as all of you sat down on the floor, but Papyrus reassured you quickly with an ‘it’s alright’; that it was no problem, they had only just started their search for you when you came around – making it jokingly, as he said, a ‘ten seconds high-score’.

Focusing shortly, only with a passing glance, sweeping over your surroundings, you noted that it was only the three of you. After your walk…and nap the couple of monsters that would usually be here must have left, then besides the cave dripping as usual and the Echo Flowers… _now farting_ – you guessed – it was quiet. And thankfully you didn’t have to think about that last detail too long; hearing the shorter monster clear his throat – you won’t question how – gained your attention.

“soo…this is where you usually have your ‘tea-parties’?” Sans spoke up from your left, patting the ground; you were arranged in a triangle, naturally having each brother on your side respectively.

“Well…this is where we meet up…but there isn’t really any tea…or parties.”

“heh, how _depresso_. you shouldn’t _brew_ to _oolong_ about it or else it will be a _spilled_ _opportuni-tea_.” He winked.

There was an awkward silence, so you asked, “Do you like…tea?”

…

Papyrus snorted. It startled you. When he saw you looking at him – unsure, he hid his amusement with a gloved hand. You didn’t understand…what did he laugh about? Then Sans spoke up again, “don’t be so _cold_. i’m trying to _thaw_ the _ice_ here, buddy. _water_ you say?”

You furrowed your brows which seemed to make it worse for Papyrus as he sputtered when he saw, nonetheless you concentrated on Sans’ words. Or rather the weird dialect he had used.

…

…

…wait.

“Was…that a joke…?” You didn’t know if that expression was one of offended on Sans’ side or not; you were slow on that front which was why Papyrus probably was now openly laughing – having given in to hide his hilarity – after all it happened to him too. He likely rejoiced that he wasn’t the only one whose jokes you didn’t understand.

“Nyehehe, _this is phenomenal!_ ”

Sans looked like he was really at a loss, seeing how funny his brother found it however – his grin gradually became of the same mirth.

“so, i didn’t really catch your name. papyrus wouldn’t tell.”

Oh. Something akin to a guilty realization corresponded in the taller skeleton’s features as you grappled for an answer.

“I don’t know my name.” Nothing but the truth would do, so you tried to get over it fast. “I don’t remember…”

Skeptically Sans’ eye lights coruscated, swaying from you to Papyrus as he analyzed the situation. “huh, amnesia…?” he voiced with a hint of curiosity there. You nodded.

“I was trying to think of a new name to give… _my new friend_ because – _obviously_ – I can’t keep calling her only ‘friend’! Or else we’ll never get to the next phase of ‘nick-name giving’! A true best-friend’s challenge!” Papyrus helpfully supplied.

_‘Best-friend’s challenge?’_

“hm, ya need any help with that? names?”

“Just no puns…Not like you tried to name _Rocky_.”

“Rocky?” You questioned.

“His pet rock.”

“hey, it was better than stony.”

“I would have preferred Stony…”

“well, yeah? but it didn’t…” he seemed almost hesitant, “ _boulder_ him did it?”

…

“i mean he never _spoke_ a word. always so _quiet_ —”

“NYEH!” Papyrus interrupted loudly, stopping Sans’ charade. “That still doesn’t make it a good name!”

“i see your opinion is already _set in stone_. welp,” he shrugged, “can’t change _solid_ minds.”

Papyrus pained expression almost made you giggle. _Maybe that was what he meant by ‘Tickling his funnybones’,_ because that was something you could get behind, this back and forth – Sans relentless teasing; and it wasn’t like Papyrus never got him back for it, he would quip back just as fast – the more you watched them bicker and banter the more sure you were that this _had_ to be a daily occurrence in their lives.

“so, names huh…” Changing the subject again to you, the skeleton made an inquisitive ‘hmm’, looking your form up and down, even finding his mittened hand scratching on his chin, the staring almost becoming uncomfortable on your skin. “eh.”

“nope.”

“Huh?” Papyrus straightened.

“nothing comes to mind…”

“Sans! That wasn’t even a minute!” His brother scolded, “Don’t give up yet!”

“sorry bro, my skull’s empty. don’t think i can come up with a fitting name – don’t know em’ good enough, y’know?” Papyrus deflated a little again; thinking about that explanation – it did make sense…

“Hmm, very well.”

Sans’ light-guiders came again to rest on your form, his next thoughts weren’t heard by you or Papyrus, him being immanently the only participant in his own mind.

Lost would be the applicable emotion he felt right now – if his confusions wasn’t having a field day too. Sans didn’t really lie. He didn’t know you enough _but that had never actually stopped him before._

Normally he was good on getting a read on someone – had a knack for it – so giving you an impromptu name on the spot shouldn’t be a problem; he could do it with other people, did it in his jokes, and after five minutes he usually would know everything about his seat-neighbor that there was to know. For all that he was worth, he could have given you a name just as horrible as _rocky_.

But this was the first time that when he looked…

There was nothing. Like a blank slate.

He couldn’t see anything.

…

And that wasn’t the only thing that bothered him. He found himself in a tough spot – the more he, heh, _eyed_ your interactions with his brother, _he just knew_.

Sans knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans is here! And huh...just what does he know?
> 
> _  
> ~~(Note: I love the imagery of church bells ringing whenever Sans appears...It's reminicent of The last Corridor)~~  
> _


	6. In accompany of Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternative chapter title: (A recluse with amnesia.)
> 
> \--  
> On today's menu:
> 
> When dreams shatter and a truth comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter six. The last fully-finished written chapter.  
> After this updates will probably ~~(most certaintly)~~ be less regularly. Basically next chapters will be there whenever I finish writing them. No update schedule. Like I did once a week. ~~I wish I could do that and treat you all but I would probably go mentally insane lol~~ (・・；)
> 
> I'm just saying this as a heads-up! And well...because I also wanted to say this:
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> Thank you for reading. 
> 
> I will meet you all in the next update <3 Don't wait up!

You tried to focus on Papyrus as he was telling another story about his warrior training which weirdly enough contained kitchen disasters and fires, a lot of fires.

Despite that you still felt a gaze on you belonging to the smaller monster to your left. Sans hadn’t stopped staring at you; it felt light but it really wasn’t. His glowing eyes could be only that much subtle in a cave this dark.

He wasn’t saying anything. Surprisingly, Papyrus was again the one to carry the conversation.

“—and afterwards we had to scrub away the stains! It was a real workout. My pinky still remembers it…” he waggled his phalanges like in fact they were complaining about it.

“Ah! That reminds me…!” You looked curiously at your friend and for the first time you saw Sans too diverting his attention to his brother as the latter spoke excitedly, “You should visit us! Then I can show you all the puzzles I prepared for the humans! And we can cook spaghetti—! I heard humans like spaghetti too. So! I devised! A spaghetti trap!” He punctuated the end dramatically with slight pauses, his gloved hands claiming yours in his grip.

“Uh…” You thought about it.

And then remembered something. “You…ah…don’t live in Waterfall…”

You saw Sans’ frontal bone shift like he was raising a brow. Still holding onto your hands, Papyrus answered, “No, we live in Snowdin! You’ve never been there, right?” he asked eagerly. “It’s not too far from here!”

“Uh…” _Gosh, you felt awkward…_

“you haven’t been to snowdin?” Now it was Sans asking; he sounded surprised and you felt the same at the prospect that he had actually spoken to you again. You felt anxious; he had been so quiet before.

You shook your head. “I…uh…don’t really go beyond Waterfall…”

“why’s that?”

“Populated.” You simply stated.

“…waterfall’s populated too,” he deadpanned.

“But it’s quieter.”

“quieter?”

“Yeah…and…” you faltered; his face shifted, expression clearly echoing your ‘and?’ prompting you to continue, “…and I live…in a more vacant area…” _…alone._

“you’re…a recluse?”

“SANS!” Papyrus scolded him – just as you had wanted to affirm his statement with a nod – you paused. Huh?

“Don’t be rude!” Rude? But you found that assertion to be quite accurate. You were a recluse. A hermit. Why was Papyrus so upset?

Since you could remember you wanted to be left alone. You were always avoiding people.

_Except…_

You wanted to be alone – forever.

_…that wasn’t true anymore…was it?_

You locked over to Sans who seemed unbothered by Papyrus’ chiding.

_Since…_

His eye-lights shone; they were piercing…yet totally indifferent – they didn’t hold anything in them.

_…when had you wanted that anyway?_

Head on, Sans stared you dead in the eyes, something lurched in you; your stomach seized. A tapping. The cavity filling delicately piece by piece with heavy, smooth stones. Greedily taking space, knocking your breath away.

_You hated it._

_That stare._

Somehow you found your jaw opening, the words almost rushing out.

“H-he’s-- Sans’s not wrong… _I do_ live alone.” Papyrus didn’t look satisfied so you continued, “…and I avoid being around others—”

“But it’s not like you had a choice!” Your friend interrupted, “It’s not like you _like it_ – _being always by yourself!_ ” Somehow…you…it. Papyrus looked hurt. Somehow you had hurt him. You could feel your hands straining…wait, no— that pressure was Papyrus’ fingers squeezing yours. He still hadn’t let go? 

“what do you mean, bro?” Sans suddenly addressed his brother.

Papyrus hadn’t told Sans? Well…it wasn’t like you expected him to. Ah, but this-…this you couldn’t let be – you were not an expert in reading skeletal expressions but by how the bone stretched into a grimace almost, with the feeling pressure of phalanges binding more into your skin, you knew Papyrus to be kicking himself mentally now for letting something slip he thought was probably a dead secret.

So you took the reins. It wasn’t his fault. He shouldn’t look so devastated. You gave him a reassuring squeeze of your own.

“Sometimes…those around me forget that I’m here.” This time you didn’t shy away from his white eye-lights. “They forget my existence and then don’t remember.”

Papyrus immediately saw the skeptic in his brother when you had answered the smaller skeleton.

“She’s not lying, brother. In fact…” He lingered there, words stopping. Sans waited.

You couldn’t help but speak up, “Papyrus-…?” Your friend turned his head to you effectively silencing the following syllables out of you; the eye contact wasn’t long, he turned quickly his attention to Sans and by the next words you figured out why he was so upset.

“I…the day after we met…” Sans eye-lights flickered briefly to you. “I actually didn’t remember…but I…”

_He was ashamed._

“I wanted to go there. To the Echo Flowers.” Another squeeze. “I didn’t know why but I had a weird feeling – it wouldn’t leave me the whole day. So I did go…and, to be honest, I’m glad I did.” He looked to you, a sad smile on his teeth.

“I’m sorry friend…you must be disappointed.”

 _So he had forgotten you_ …

That was what your mind would have supplied dejectedly had you not spent literal weeks with this monster.

Instead, it noted.

_But he still remembered._

It didn’t hurt. Hadn’t hurt. Because you came to trust this monster. You believed in him.

That was why when you smiled you hoped it conveyed those feelings.

And seemingly it did. Seeing you weren’t angry at him, Papyrus’ shoulders relaxed.

You would have enjoyed the moment more if a sudden spike – like someone personally shoving ice into your spine – hadn’t shot through you, leaving you paralyzed, useless, feeling like you were nothing.

Your head shot up; when you looked back at Sans the feeling disappeared.

_Wha-_

“Say friend, we haven’t met a conclusion yet – al a your invitation to a _spaghetti night_ in our house! What do you say?” Papyrus pitched in, taking the attention back to your previous quarrel, making you again focus on him.

“I uh- I guess, I wouldn’t mind no-”

“PERFECT!” He hugged you to him; you were almost too winded to react, the embrace barely lasting a second before the skeleton rose to his boots – practically leaping with newfound energy.

“I must immediately make preparations!” He announced before he promptly stormed off.

“Wait! Papyrus!” But Papyrus was already a speck of dust in the distance when you called out to him.

_Just how fast was this skeleton?_

You hesitantly rested your gaze on the monster that had been left behind with you.

_And more importantly…_

He stared back unimpressed.

_Did he just leave you alone with Sans?!_

The unmoving grin that he had plastered over his features looked uncomfortable and made you question if he couldn’t move it. In all honesty it began to creep you out a little, and it didn’t help your emotions that you wanted to be mad at Papyrus for leaving you alone like that – after all you had a lengthy discussion about how this would go.

…

“I’m sorry.” It slipped out.

He straightened his back slightly, eye-lights scanning your face as best as they could; it being veiled by the cloak. “why?” It was a soft response.

 _Why?_ What a loaded question.

You must have had upset him somehow, otherwise you couldn’t explain this tension- _those stares._

 _Why?_ You didn’t know. He was mad at you, right? That was why, right?

“…you’re angry…did I do something?” You were a little surprised by how calm your own voice appeared because everything else felt like a torrent.

You were awaiting a thousand – maybe a billion – reasons as to what you did wrong; your hands clasped together, you didn’t look away from him and neither did he. You were waiting.

But they never came; instead Sans just sighed, his shoulders dipping with the action. It made him look tired. “heh, no. nothing.” He deflected. Before you could even attempt to ask again, he changed directions, “so, it seems you’re going to give us a house visit, huh? well, it’s no wonder papyrus run off,” he chuckled, “probably wanting to tidy up the place for his guest.”

“Sorry for the inconv—”

“nah, it’s no skin off my nose.” He waved you off with a mittened hand.

You frowned, “But you don’t have—actually you don’t have both…”

“ _snrk_ , pfhehe…” He snorted, grinning as he gave you a _look_. Oh.

Feeling sheepish, you scratched absently at the floor.

“so…” Sans began, “my bro, told you about his training?” You nodded. “and you want to help him capture a human, huh?” You heard the slight confusion in his voice but paid it no mind.

Humming lightly, you thought back to that conversation, “Papyrus wants to prove himself. I don’t think he needs to…he’s already amazing.” You couldn’t help but state and you wished Papyrus would see it like that too.

“But regardless of that… I still want to help support him.” Because that was what Papyrus wanted and you wouldn’t hold him back to achieve his goals.

“heh, my bro sure is great isn’t he?” Sans remarked fondly.

You smiled like the sun, “ _The Greatest_.”

The monster almost sputtered, surprised at the sincerity before he joked, “welp, just don’t fall head over heels for him, he tends to break hearts.” He winked.

“O-oh…I’m not– I mean…”

Another snort escaped him as he placated you, “relax, kid. i was only _ribbing_ ya.” He grinned though it was a little less happy. Nervous.

“Kid?” _Why did he call you that?_

“eh, i guess it will be for now your nickname,” he shrugged, “until i come up with a better name.”

“But I’m not really a kid…”

“hm? how old are you then?”

You fumbled a bit before you mumbled out a number that you felt the most connection to. He looked unimpressed, catching your unsure tone, so you rushed out to reassure him, “U-uh…I- I’m definetly! Not a kid!”

At least you thought you were. You didn’t feel too old, and you didn’t feel that young. But him asking questions made you question yourself. You admitted, you weren’t sure how much time had truly passed, and that ‘number’ was the last you could remember of…anything, really. Well, not really ‘remember’ but more like ‘be sure of’. A feeling, and also your own nagging voice hysterically now screaming, _‘You gotta be, you gotta be!’_

“you…don’t know, do you?” He caught on quickly…

You nodded mutely, already the creeping feeling of wanting to hide in your cave arising in you again. It disturbed you, thinking about facets of your life that should be common knowledge to you, checker boxes that everyone had and was aware of _but you_. Only you – they hadn’t even given a paper.

_That was why you didn’t think. But he brought it up._

And now you were questioning the time – time that you had spent here, _how much time_ _you had_ _spent here_ – and it _had_ to be. It had to. The feeling you had… while not a number couldn’t be false. The thought that your time perception _could be_ off made you feel queasy, and with that you immediately shut it down, reminding yourself it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter. Not enough to panic over air.

You should have maybe foreseen this. While Sans was quieter, more calm, he was still Papyrus’ brother. Papyrus yet sometimes overwhelmed you at times. And Sans, you learned, had the same insistence about him.

He was perceptive.

“huh… hey,” he piped.

You looked to him questioningly.

“thanks.”

There was a brief pause, where his eye-lights pivoted behind you to the calm, glowing water, watching it flow. _Drip. Drip – Drop. Drop…_

“What for…?” Your curious voice resounded eerily in the otherwise silent cavern. You almost hadn’t wanted to ask as he appeared to be relatively deep in thought.

The monster looked to you again, “for being friends with papyrus.”

“ _really_ ,” he intoned strongly, when he saw you about to wave off his praise.

“i was a little surprised. paps had been recently _low in spirits_ ,” he gestured, winking, “but you should have seen him how giddy he was, when he told me about his ‘new friend’.”

“you may not know but for an outgoing guy like him, he has not as many close friends as you would think. so, don’t sell yourself short.” It almost sounded like he was scolding you.

“you’ve made him plenty happy.”

Oh. Wow. Well.

“Uhm…thank you?”

“don’t mention it pal.” He closed one socket good-naturedly.

…

“Was…” you hesitated, “was that why you wanted to meet me? To…” _Judge me?_ “…say that?”

That kind of…

_‘You know?’ Papyrus’ voice sounded, ‘I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.’_

You scratched at your skin—

_‘Who wouldn’t want to know you?’_

Sans opened his socket.

_He doesn’t._

Straightening his posture from his previous slouch—

_‘He wouldn’t be able to—’_

Wow. Look at those glares.

_Skeletons can’t glare._

But you knew it was one.

_Just like you knew that grin wasn’t a grin._

_‘—forget—’_

It was stuck on him like a mask. It didn’t matter.

**_‘Y o u .’_ **

You fisted your cloak, tugging—

_He can’t fool you._

Was he ever trying?

_‘He wouldn’t be———even if he wanted to.’_

Disappointing.

D i s a p p o i n t i n g .

**D i s a p p o i n t i n g .**

“hey, kid!”

You gasped loudly.

There were finger on you—phalanges on your hand. Fabric.

Your hand… You staggered, eyes widened, open orbs of pale jewels; and body stiff like a board, not moving or shaking.

Air didn’t seem enough but you weren’t panting. Was this shock?

You were cold. Someone kept blowing the wind to you. There was none.

Sans talked to you. His words sounded like he was on the other end of the cavern.

Slow. Everything felt so slow. And so precise. Every motion. Every breath. Every syllable of a sound – a word.

It felt like ‘sleep’. When you were in your cave.

It would just go on.

You would just go on.

“hey…”

Sans.

You let your eyes travel. From the mittened hand on your own that had been tugging on your cloak. Up the arm – the ulna, radius, humerus… To the face, the mask, the grin – _Sans_. And stayed there; not going the final trek to his sockets. That was alright, you didn’t want to see those cold lights again.

Instead there was only his grin. On which you focused. It was bigger. And for a moment you were confused as to why that was, until you realized it wasn’t bigger but _closer_. _He was closer_ , and you remembered the fabric on your hand. The mittens.

You suddenly recoiled unprepared and shakily stood up, “I-I’m going home…” It was the only thought that was able to leave your mouth.

Sans who was back on his feet too—and had you seen how fast that was; it would have certainly added to the current dither you were in—watched you as you turned around and walked away, stumbling a little.

You didn’t make it far.

Mind to muddled to process, you kept going until you were in the middle of the flower field and _far enough_ from any form of presence before you crumbled down, body kissing the floor.

But ‘far enough’ wasn’t far enough from Sans.

The swishing of grass. Softly padded footsteps… A deep voice.

“what are you doing?”

You didn’t bother to open your eyes.

“you can’t sleep here…”

You felt him move.

“i’m pretty sure that’s not good for you.”

His voice doubled over, tripled, quadrupled and then shattered into million voices as the Echo Flowers calmly repeated.

_what are you doing?_

_you cant sleep here…_

_that’s not good for you._

_what are you doing?_

_don’t sleep here._

…

You didn’t open your eyes, despite the protestant murmuring of the flowers.

Soon they became a plethora of background noises as the familiar ‘platter’ of raindrops hitting the bare ground made itself being heard.

_Drip. Drop._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✿We're finally up to date, I'm really exited to introduce you to chapter 7!✿  
> \---
> 
> **Also to all of you who wanted Sans:**
> 
> _Do you still want Sans? lmao_
> 
> There's kind of a couple reasons why this is a 'slow burn'...and, well, I guess this is one of them. >:) ♥  
> \---
> 
> **Since it's gonna be a while before the next update, I will share some tidbits:**
> 
>   
> Chapter titles! I love being creative with them. In this story (most of the time) they reflect Reader's mental state/perception of the world. Did you notice? We're not anymore **'Alone in—'** but **'In accompany of—'** instead. It describes how included Reader feels.
> 
> You're not 'Alone in a Flower Field' or 'Alone with Flowers'; you're 'In accompany of Flowers'. 
> 
> Sometimes, even though we are surrounded by others, we are still alone. That was the thought behind 'Alone in Company'
> 
> \---


	7. In accompany of a Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If only I could see the world above.
> 
> But even if the barrier was open, how would I leave...?
> 
> \--  
> (Alternate title: In accompany of hot cats
> 
> …or hot dogs…?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween/Spooptober! ｡+ﾟ.。+。♪ ♪．☆．。．:*･°
> 
> Here we go, chapter 7! *Does happy dance.└|∵┌| dododo~ |┐∵|┘ 
> 
> I was contemplating on updating this chapter actually on Halloween but I am impulsive, hah! 
> 
> This...became also a lot bigger than I thought it would. The problem with dialogue is once you start you can’t stop. They just keep on talking. And this chapter was initially even longer before I found the perfect place to cut it off. 
> 
> I've also written a lot of snippets of upcoming scenes that I can't wait to include in the story and show you - sadly, they're still far away and there is other stuff we need to clear first before it comes to that! So, I will just...uh, keep vibrating excitedly on my seat for now while I type away.´･ᴗ･`
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading as much as I did writing this chapter. Cheers! _(:3｣∠)_

_It always began with waking up…_

There was snoring. It was quiet. Light.

Someone was snoring – next to you.

Grass tickled your nose when you moved your head confused to the direction of the sound; your neck painfully stiff from the hard floor. When you found it, your eyes sobered up profusely, taking in the picture.

There the monster Sans was sleeping with his back to a wall, his ribcage slightly moving with his quiet snores on his otherwise still body. You wouldn’t even know he was asleep if it wasn’t for that little noise.

Sitting up, you found yourself helpless. _What were you to do?_

Should you wake him up?

Looking wildly right and left, you didn’t see Papyrus anywhere. _Was he still at the house?_

…

“Sans…?” you tested, it was too quiet of a whisper to rouse him. He continued snoring, fast asleep.

What was he doing here? You remembered him telling you not to sleep here before everything went hazy… _but what was he doing here?!_

“Why are you not home…?” you hushed a little louder, knowing he wouldn’t answer.

Careful, you crawled over, halting a short distance before the slippers of his feet.

You looked him over, and yes, the monster continued to sleep unbothered like a rock, not even a twitch of movement…how weird.

_What now? Should you just leave him? But wasn’t Papyrus coming back soon? You should wait for him in that case._

_…_

_How long had you slept anyway…?_

Not long if Sans was still here…

“I don’t understand…” came dejectedly.

Reasonably, he shouldn’t be here anymore. He had what he came for. Made his assessment and his judgment. Even praised you.

He hadn’t wanted to be friends. He came for an interrogation.

It clicked when he had thanked you. Why he had behaved the way he did. _The acting_.

It was all to evaluate you. And you passed. The praise he had given you for making Papyrus happy now felt like a paid job well done. And you grimaced a little angry. No one paid you to spent time with Papyrus!

_Papyrus wasn’t a job! Or a chore to be done!_

And you didn’t hang out with him because it was some sort of obligation either.

If anyone was the moral commitment in this relationship it was you and only because Papyrus was such a responsible monster that you wouldn’t wonder or be surprised if he saw it as a part of his duty to visit you every day.

So again, _why was Sans here?_

The only likely cause why he remained was probably so Papyrus wouldn’t be questioning why you were alone when he eventually came back. In fact, it was plausible that Papyrus had left you both on purpose so you had no choice but to get to know Sans without the taller brother there as a buffer.

It disappointed you that you would need to tell him that Sans and you weren’t going to become friends.

Sans didn’t even like you. At best he now tolerated you because you unwittingly had appeased his goal.

Shifting, taking the pressure from your knees, you planted yourself on your butt, bringing your legs to your front, and scooching away a little – you made some more distance between you and the sleeping monster. You wrapped your arms around your legs and let your chin rest up on one arm; eyes still attentive on the monster.

You gnawed on your lip; admittedly a little frustrated, as a tiny part of you was _sulking_.

Sulking.

You couldn’t believe it yourself.

But undoubtedly a part of you was _sad_. _And hurt… . . ._

Sad at a lost opportunity to make another friend.

And hurt… _because you had been actually looking forward to it._

You had been worrying so much.

Ha…ha…

Needlessly.

You felt like an idiot for having fretted so much on any thought that had crossed your mind.

‘Will he even like me?’, that one tore almost something physical.

 _Would he even like you?_ What a stupid question.

The answer literally laid before you. Snoring.

You sighed; something that Papyrus previously had said came to mind when you whispered, _“…who would want to really know me…?_ ”

_‘My brother noticed I would go out more often.’_

_‘When he asked me about it,_

_I told him I was visiting a new friend.’_

Then something Sans had said.

_‘i was a little surprised. paps had been recently low in spirits but you should have seen him how giddy he was when—.’_

That brought you back to your first meeting with Papyrus…

‘ _Could it be…?! Oh my, so it’s true!’_

_‘I_ have _a secret admirer!_ ’

He sounded then so surprised…like someone had told him that but…he didn’t believe it…

Were Sans’ words genuine then? You couldn’t see it… Papyrus seemed like someone who would have a lot of friends… _but then again you remembered Papyrus saying…_

_‘ **I told him I was visiting a new friend** , he was very happy.’_

…

_‘…he was very happy.’_

Sans had been very happy.

He even wanted to see you.

_But that was just an act, **wasn’t it**?_

He wasn’t happy _about you_. He was just happy for Papyrus. He hadn’t really wanted to see _you_.

He just wanted to make sure you would be a ‘good friend’.

And you were.

So…that meant you shouldn’t care about this right?

_You needn’t worry about the possibility of him forgetting you because he didn’t **need** to remember you._

_He will forget you. When he wakes up, you will be already gone and he won’t remember._

_It will be for the best._

_Papyrus will understand._

For now you needed to go home. To your cave. And be alone for a while. You felt tired, despite having slept. You chalked it up to being surrounded by others these past weeks on a more constant basis than usually. It was only a question of when that would zap away at you.

You stood up, one last glance at the sleeping monster that was still peacefully snoring before you turned away, making the trek home at an even pace. There was no rush. You could breathe.

It would be alright.

Two days had passed since then.

When you had left behind the fields and stayed at home. Back at your dark and cramped cave – your starting point.

You couldn’t go back. Not yet.

You hoped Papyrus wasn’t too upset about not finding you at your usual meeting spot but you needed time. With luck he was busy with his royal guard training. He had plenty of other things after all to entertain himself with – you knew.

Lately you hadn’t been feeling well. You questioned if you might be sick.

Whenever you closed your eyes there was _nothing_. You couldn’t get any sleep. At all.

Or more precisely explained you would sleep but not get any rest. You would drift off and come back just as tired, having gained nothing.

And as a result you were very sluggish. You probably were laying half a day on the same spot, no energy to even turn around and change that.

You needed time.

Time to get better. And then you could explain what happened to you to Papyrus and apologize in the case he might have worried about your whereabouts.

You sighed tiredly, once more closing your eyes for the hope of a deep sleep to take you.

Cold. It was so cold. The wind – you knew. It was blowing. Cold.

White. All around you. But…that couldn’t be…

White. Flashing. A dream. You were dreaming.

Of a White Cold.

Spirals. Engulfing you. Taking you. Piece by piece.

Distorting you.

You.

Who are ‘You’?

Me? I? _You?_

_Did ‘You’ already became your name?_

_Did you forget?_

A Name.

N. A. M. E.

Thatwasnot’You’.

Y. O. U.

Thatisn’titeither.

_How did you say?_

A mouth moving. Syllables twisting. Words forming. Meaning becoming.

It was simple. So, what was it? What was ‘You’?

Spirals opening. Taking you in. Flying. Falling. Landing.

Returning you.

White. Flashing. A dream.

You were waking up. From white coldness.

A dreadful groan left you as you awoke to probably the worst headache yet. You were truly sick. The pressure on your forehand wouldn’t subside and you were as cold as the cave floor; weirdly enough you weren’t sweating. Just unbearably cold.

Uselessly, you were trying to cover yourself more with the cloak until you gave up.

“Air…” You needed to breathe. The cave was stiffy with earth and stone. On all fours, you crawled through the small entrance – the air wasn’t much better there but at least it wasn’t confided in a tiny pocket.

Like that, a considerable amount of time trickled away, and you went back into the cave to rest with the illness no lesser. Again, you tried to sleep. Again, you failed and were left restless.

Being unable to concentrate or think about anything else, you spent time looking at the glowing pink light of your crystal after unwrapping it from the cloth; occasionally playing around with it in your palms.

This continued on for a while until you felt like you could try again to go to sleep.

Surprisingly the next time you woke, you were energized enough to move anew. Though any movement felt like you were trudging through waist-deep sludge. Slippery and slow.

You took your time. You weren’t still ready to meet Papyrus.

Though if your friend hadn’t worried yet he was probably doing so now…

You felt guilty thinking about it so you tried distracting yourself with other thoughts – in the end, it only made you more antsy and you ended up thinking _even more_ about Papyrus.

_Should…you maybe visit?_

_At least to check up on him? To see if he was waiting? Or even looking for you?_

You were well enough to take a quick look…

_Just to be sure…_

Yeah, so you could get rid of this weird energy…!

_You would be as careful as possible…_

So no one would see you.

You weren’t ready yet for a confrontation so you would only take a quick look just to make sure if he was okay.

 _If_ he was there that is...

_Then it was decided…_

Crawling out the entrance, you stood up… and kept standing…for a time.

The heat and pressure on your head felt explosive and you took a couple of breaths to calm the dizzying throbbing. Breathe in. And out.

Standing felt worse than lying…but you would endure it. Righting your clothes and hood in place; you took the slowest pace that you had only ever used for when you were exploring.

 _So maybe this would take a little bit longer_ …but because you were already out of your cave and going, you were too stubborn to stop now.

You were once again immensely grateful for the light your crystal shone, with your current speed you wouldn’t make it in time to touch the lanterns to light the path. Even knowing the direction, the darkness made the maze a hassle. Your crystalline guide was as faithful as ever. The lanterns would release an energy which the big, pink crystals growing from the ground and walls would react to – their faint glimmer becoming for a couple of seconds a beacon. They shone much brighter and harsher; perhaps because of their size.

It became easier when you reached the ancient stone plaque, from there you only needed to follow the mushroom trail. You were coming into familiar territory again, past the two small waterfalls, caves, and hidden houses your steps took more caution. Monsters muddled around. Which was unfortunate.

You even saw the small, yellow bird by the gap was back! No one seemed to pay attention to your hooded figure yet. Now here was your chance!

Getting over the gap, (after courtly acknowledging the tiny bird) you scouted the area for a patch of sea-grass to dive into. After finding a suitable hideout, you took to your observing role. Your eyes danced around the field, trying to note anything – _anyone_ – of significance.

But it was very much like the day when you had decided to come back here. To watch the beautiful water.

_Children running, laughing… A pair eating nice-cream… A lone monster splashing their feet in the water… A cheering grey…with no Papyrus in sight…_

You should be relieved not to find him here.

You looked around a little more, stayed a little more, and surveyed again. You didn’t see Papyrus…

So finally you stood up prepared to leave but something _catches_ in your peripheral vision. 

You halted your movements.

…

_Was…that shadow always there…?_

You didn’t move your head to it, lest you acknowledged the presence.

The most natural thing would be to move on, not noticing it, right? Ignore it.

Perhaps your movements were a little jerky, you weren’t in the best condition to begin with…

Yet pure anxiety took over your body and you moved faster. _Something had been watching you…_

You jumped again over the gap, ignoring the bird. Some monster turned their heads in question, and of course, now they were seeing you…! You didn’t let it faze you, you even slowed down a little on your sweaty, cold legs and the monsters ignored you again disinterested. As you reached the beginning of the mushroom trail—

Again…! The shadow.

_It had followed you…_

Something broke and awakened in you at that observation. It hadn’t been just watching you from your hideout…it was actively after you. Didn’t you always tell yourself to be cautious? If you had thought about it more, surely you would have seen that it was dangerous to go out like this? Sick like you were?

Slowly you crept the trail, gripping the crystal in your hand tighter, attentive of any motives.

Maybe you were misunderstanding…?

Could you be so sick and winded that you mistook some shadows as something so silly as being followed?

That was right… surely you were wrong—

 _No_. You stilled. _Something was following you_. All the time you kept going forward…the shadow never went farther away at the edge of your vision. _It kept pace_.

Still there… Still there. Still there. The same distance. The same size. Still there. Following. Not going away. With the light you were a beacon to the undesirable. _So easy to snatch…_

So you did what you didn’t want to do; you hid the crystal in your cloak to take away the light that marked your location so effortlessly. It would be alright, wouldn’t it? You still had the glowing mushrooms to see…

What a comfort darkness always was to you… _What you couldn’t see couldn’t hurt you_. Tucked away and sheltered by darkness in a corner where no one would look, there you were protected.

Knowing was different. Knowledge of a threatening presence lurking within your darkness wasn’t comforting. It prepared however all your senses, and in the dark it wasn’t about seeing… _but hearing_.

You weren’t sure how much of a difference the darkness would make for the being that followed you, it might as well have perfect vision in the dark and you might have given it even an advantage – but that didn’t matter to you. Not seeing it constantly at the edge of your peripheral vision soothed you a little, the thought that it could attack at any given moment with you none the wiser still held you on the edge and made you hold up your guard as you continued walking the path.

Every time your legs grazed something you would halt, most often than not it was just grass or a mushroom. When something swiped at your right cheek, you took a hurried step back and when walking forward again you would see it was just a branch of the bigger vegetation around you. You even flinched once at the sound of your own erratic breathing – thinking that someone was close enough to breathe down your neck. 

You listened and listened… _You really did_ …but not once did you hear your pursuer’s footsteps or any indication of movement.

In a need to know where the threat was and if it was still tailing you, you made the futile mistake to turn your head to the direction of where you thought the shadow to be. The glowing mushrooms were enough to make out a figure…and—

Your breath hitched, _it was so close_ ; the exact moment you turned around you could see it with an appendage already stretched out towards you, close to grabbing you. It shirked back a little as if not expecting you, before making another grab at you.

In that exact second your fright decided to do something foolish.

_You threw it._

In a panic you flung your lightning crystal at the creature, hoping it would blind the being momentarily, and barreled straight forward with no directive towards the path – you ran.

_You idiot, you threw it!_

And ran; everything spiraled and swayed, a river of sweat took over and was pouring down your body from the exercise and the agonizing headache from earlier came back throbbing even more viciously. But you ignored all your body’s symptoms and bared it. It didn’t matter how sick you were and how much you wanted to throw up! You ran!

“TeM!”

Until you almost stumbled _onto_ someone, in a desperate last effort you jumped over the monster and landed on your knees, scraping them painfully, your forearms halting your further barreling as you hissed at the burning friction.

The time to concentrate on yourself was cut short by another shout of the monster that you had almost run over. You looked behind you.

“hOi!!!” A vibrating expression. “tEM OUTTA TeM!” You were shaking. “im tem, tEMMIY!!!

The monster didn’t seem an ounce perturbed by being almost run over; its whole body just jittered weirdly, cat and dog ears twitching much too subtly and its tail wagged in continuous excitement. Black hair somehow staying in place with all the movement…which you couldn’t exactly say for its face. That seemed to be in another dimension altogether relating physics… You were pretty sure the monster’s white fur charged static and electricity already against the blue t-shirt it wore.

More and more voices surrounded you, “tem?” “awAWAWA!!!” “yaYAY! dis tem!” “hoi!” “tem? TEM!” “welcom ta temmie village yaYA!” “TEM VILLAGE!!! ITSA TEEEEM VILLAGEEE!!!” Jumbled grettings were thrown disorderly by multiple monster of the same type.

“Oh…” you exhaled stuttering, trying to calm down. Temmie Village?

Where did you turn wrong? And, no, you weren’t talking about your choices…

But there was a village here? This whole time?

You paused at what that meant.

Blue walls…you knew all those blue walls. You explored them all. And you accepted that there still were nooks and crannies that you missed.

“…but a hidden village.” You whispered.

One Temmie came up to your still on-butt-planted form on the ground.

“awaaa…hurts?” It pitied.

You looked down to your knees where the monster’s black eyes focused. And surely, it hurt. But not too badly. “awawa…?” The Temmie cocked its head to the side and you could only smile sadly.

“…no, it’s nothing.”

For a moment the Temmie held its stance, head tilted to the side, a question mark almost popping up…and then – it was looking as if you weren’t there anymore. It looked left and right. Confused. Going in a circle around itself before finally – it just went back to the other groups of Temmies.

Having taken off the burden of knowing you, of being concerned.

You sighed. You couldn’t be angry.

Maybe you were just a bad poison anyway…?

You felt…depleted.

Running had been your last reserve. From that…

Shadow.

It wasn’t here. You had shaken it off. Or at least confused it. For comfort, you balled your palms only to find them empty.

_Your crystal…_

“wawawa—” The chatter of the Temmies distracted you, leading you to finally survey your surroundings. You held your head up and straightened.

You eyed for a moment the path you had come from, coming to an understanding how this cavern was connected. The area was fairly, well lit. It had taken you a while to realize that. You were out of the darkness of the maze.

Continuing on with your inspection, you looked to the wall. There hung a…

Portrait? Painting? Mural?

It depicted a Temmie standing proud on top of a dragon. A story? Or history?

In the middle of the cave were signs pointing forward to another room – ‘Tem Shop’. But you were quickly distracted by the big and tall statue to the right of the shop – a statue modeled after what you could guess was…well, eh…a Temmie.

The three bold letters ‘TEM’ were pretty telling…

And…

Were Temmies some kind of royalty?

Because…uh…

Reluctantly you turned your head to a group of Temmies.

All twitching erratic with dopey expressions, eyebrows rising rapidly up and down. One Temmie was perfectly flipped upside down on the floor sending signals back. If you just…turned your head a little, it would look like it was actually still standing.

The other Temmie was just chirping and another was continuously singing ‘doo-doo-doo’, making a tune.

…

In what honor was this statue build?

…

Honestly.

A frown began to crease your forehead.

With a _whump_ , you laid down on your back. Eyes to yet another ceiling.

_You were safe here, weren’t you?_

Uncharacteristically, you felt anger simmer inside you.

“Too much…”

It was all too much.

Looking at glistering stones high above soured your mood even more but you couldn’t close your eyes either because then you would see shadows chasing you. Were you grieving…?

It was as if a voice whispered, _‘Did that stone really mean that much to you?’_

You never thought about it. You were just fed up. The burning of your knees just added to your anger and tiredness and…

Ah.

Your headache returned.

And it seemed everything stopped with that.

All the anger… Tension, unease…and…worry. All seeped out. Lifted.

And all that was…

Was you. Lying on the floor. A dull pressure pulsing on your heavy head. Pressing. Lethargic. Making you focus on your throbbing body instead.

And for a while you rested. Meaningless chatter coming and going, several songs beginning and ending. You didn’t listen to all of them. They were too happy anyway. Mismatching you. Sounding all the same.

But once you were content, you could feel your back rising. Legs positioning to take all of you. Standing up. You moved a hand to the wall, steadying yourself.

No one looked. No one cared.

A droplet landed on your nose, clueing you in to adjust your hood again.

A reasonable amount of time had passed. And while it all still looked the same and nothing seemed changed, time had moved.

It was a little laughable how small you felt. The only thing that towered over you was the giant TEM statue and yet seeing how crowded this place was, made you long for your cave.

That feeling let you know, you couldn’t remain here any longer.

_A presence, creeping._

Your leg took off.

_Following. Watching._

But remained in the air.

 _Hunting_.

Not going forward.

_And you ran. You ran._

Touching the floor again. The same spot.

…

Not a step forward.

A cowardly thought led you instead, _there was still more – you hadn’t seen the end of the cavern._

One curiosity. One explanation that was just a diversion. Unpleasant adrenaline that just wanted to spike but you chose an exit door of five minutes.

One last sweep of the area and you would leave.

It was highly unlikely you would ever find a way again to ‘Temmie Village’.

It was a poor excuse but the circumstances to finding it hadn’t been ideal either.

So you turned in the wrong direction, a hand gliding along the walls as you took small and slow steps.

Your findings would be a soon disappointment.

The only thing of note was a crack in the wall. A hole.

And only because the face of a Temmie poked out. It looked stuck. Faint vibrations telling of its predicament. None of the other Temmies, however, seemed to be really concerned as far as you could tell. _Better let it be…_

As much as you wanted to go and as much as you _didn’t_ because of what might linger in the darkness of the maze – you had no choice _but to_.

So, you steeled yourself. You had to go home.

Yet, in the process of finally doing so, you came to a halt when you noticed—

A monster.

Blue and white. But a different shape.

It _wasn’t_ a Temmie.

Something drew you in about how this monster was separated from the rest. In its own corner, perfecting the very image of being still like plant life. And that exit door opened again, expanding.

Its body was a white stem rooted to the ground. It had two roots like arms attached to its body. You could see two black dots for eyes and a line – its mouth – underneath the blue cap. The cap was decorated with white, round scales and had at the top a bent spike. A _funky_ -looking monster.

Get it? Because of ‘fungi’? Funky?

…

Papyrus would have been proud.

You dared only to take a step forward, and the monster turned from its rooted place, so suddenly it began to move its arms up and down, hollow body rattling like bongos as it moved, _danced_. You could only look fascinated at the performance.

“Mushroom dance. Mushroom dance. Whatever could it mean.” It said it like that but it wasn’t a question – a statement, small voice protruding forth, evenly, casual. And as sudden as the dance had begun, it ended just as abruptly.

Rattling noise ceasing, the cold gripping your form.

Your body reacted before your mind did. Goosebumps taking over numbed flesh.

The monster moved its head up, cap no longer hiding its real eyes. Icy-blue’s – big and startlingly shadowed beneath – piercing you with a new intensity. In the blooming silence the monster’s small and calm voice became thunder. Meaning and hanging heavy in the air.

“It means that you are not the only one,” you took a step back, nearly slipping, when it addressed you, its words unsettling, cold metal. “My inner torment. Trapped here. By my hyphae.”

An electric shock coursed through your body, catching up, at being noticed, spoken to. **Being seen.**

“My struggle to pull away, my struggle to escape.”

You held your breath.

“But alas to no avail.”

“If only I could see…”

“The world above.”

“Wouldn’t you agree?”

“What a happy day that would be…”

By the time you came out of your state of…senselessness, the mushroom had already resumed its previous stance, eyes hidden. Unresponsive. The raw truth, once again, veiled.

But your heart wouldn’t stop beating. And the bafflement stayed with you.

Until you stood before the exit, your feet having you mindlessly brought here. One look back. Echoing words followed you.

_‘If only I could see.’_

Hauntingly repeating. Not by flowers but your own accursed mind.

_‘If only I could see.’_

Somber. You went, knowing you wouldn’t ever be able to come back here.

_‘If only I could…’_

A strange peace took hold of you as you traversed the dark. Echoes and pitter-patter like an old companion attending to you. A confidence taking root. To go home. Impatiently.

And you surprised yourself by making it in time with each lantern, just as the light snuffed out you would touch alight a new beacon.

A powerful desire. Maybe even the simmer of your anger you had thought you had let go. The little water droplets of your grief. A plaintive memory of a stone in your hand.

All making you move. Making you go home.

Focusing only…

_‘Whatever could it mean…’_

…on that objective.

Pushing all else out. Until. Finally. You were there.

For that one second, you felt your mind quieten – admiring just the state of the world. You reached your goal. Automatic responses, without thinking, made you go on your knees. Crawling through the passage. Tiny, cramped in obscurity.

The heaviness of lead on your eyelids. The bare cave floor just as cold metal. Evenness only disturbed by growing weeds. Sea-grass, your bed. Buzzing, unforgotten words never once leaving your head.

You shifted restless, in search of a comfortable position. And just as you found it, you heard it.

Movement.

_‘My struggle to pull away, my struggle to escape.’_

Words so clear in your head they became like explosives. Screaming.

_‘But alas to no avail.’_

The sound came closer and a ringing started in your head. Poesy. The worded echoes now a chilling, poetical play on your life.

_‘You’ve been caught.’_

Dark words. Low. Threatening. Warped by the fear you were experiencing.

For a moment you thought to see: _Icy-blue’s – big and startlingly shadowed beneath – piercing you with a new intensity._

But it was a trick of light.

Of darkness.

Then all you saw was a shadow.

A murmur of a small voice like thunder. An echo.

_‘It means that you are not the only one.’_

You were not the only one.

**You were not alone.**

It was as if someone doused you in cold water, throwing you personally itself in Waterfalls’ deepest waters. Whatever placative state you had been in was gone.

You trashed, struggled, _fought_.

Witless, no directive; your legs were kicking everywhere, pushing everywhere.

A prisoner. You were cut off from the only entrance and exit. Stuck.

And it made you crawl back, kicking up dirt. You felt for the first time confined in your home. Trapped. Your back scrapped unheeding at the end of the cave, you tried to crawl further back. Scared. The shadow tried to reach you, you kicked it at its appendages, squirming more.

It backed away, chafing sounds against stone walls your only clue of its movements.

And then it happened – your whole cave was being illuminated. You could see.

And you froze at what you were seeing; not trusting yourself to blink. Your eyes wanting to do exactly that as your visual system was overloaded by the light. A soft, pink light. Aching familiar. You had seen him reaching through his pocket, holding what you could only describe as your companion. Your stone, your light.

Him.

Silence. You were face to face with your intruder. And it was… _him?_ You had stopped kicking, stopped entirely moving when the surroundings got enlightened around you.

You stared confused at his face, eyes briefly flickering to the lightning crystal in his hands before coming back to his face again. Staring, longer.

“Wha…t…” Almost to faint to pick up but the monster moved his head in reaction at the sound your clogged throat made.

You croaked, “What are you…?” Your mouth thinned to a line, closing. The question left open in the air, not knowing what to even ask.

Sans the monster you had left behind – just days prior – sleeping in the field was now in your humble abode, looking at you like he was the one in need of answers. Like he was confused, like you were the one in the wrong here in this entire situation. With you not knowing what even _this_ situation was. Or what was wrong with it.

Besides that you were trapped. Besides that you had been scared. Besides that you still _were_.

You felt attacked. You hunched your shoulders and finally found your voice, “What are you doing here?!”

The skeleton reared back slightly, the motion very subtle, making you feel a little bit better. This was the loudest you had ever been but you couldn’t help it, you were stressed. Your voice seemed, however, to bring him out of his reverie straight to incredulousness at your query.

“what _i’m_ doing here—? where have _you_ _been_!” He exclaimed, sounding baffled.

Your mouth opened and closed again – you didn’t expect that reaction. Hadn’t an answer ready.

By your lack of response he shook his head – his smile ever-present and unamused, reflected only by his neutral and jokeless tone. The light from the stone painted the angles of his bones somehow sharper. Mumbles of ‘can’t believe’ and ‘woken up by a boot’ made it to your ears before two white pinpricks landed critically on you and Sans said somewhat dryly, “it’s been a week.”

Wait.

“papyrus has been looking all over for you!” What.

You had trouble comprehending. “It’s been…”…a week?

But it had been just two…no, three days? How long—

You stifled it, that didn’t matter. What did was what he was doing here.

“Where,” you motioned to the shining stone, “where…did you get this?”

Did you just imagine or did he slightly turn away at that question?

“Did _you_ follow me?” _The shadow?_ Him? Did he see you ran away from it?

…

“Why were you following me, Sans?” you asked, louder.

“obviously, i was searching for you.” he relented.

“Why were you searching for me?” You weren’t giving him pause.

He sighed and you were half expecting silence again before, “you know, you really have a way on sneaking up on someone’s conscience…” he mused.

“or maybe it’s papyrus who does…” He shrugged.

“What does that mean?” You tilted your head in question, your shoulders still hunched and tense.

“i thought it was a play or ruse. maybe even a joke you put him up to play…but…heh,” he shook his head, chuckling, “i forgot.”

Your eyes widened but Sans continued, ignoring your reaction as he thought, “i guess… i wanted to confirm it.”

He sounded grave. Cold. You felt cold.

“it was so…confusing.” His gaze narrowed; the frontal bone near his sockets had lowered, bony eyelids overcasting the top of his eye-lights. He looked down to the floor, “waking up,” he clarified.

He scoffed unbelievingly, “something…screwing with my memory?” The words seeped with bitterness. The analytical look hadn’t left him and rather than talking to you it felt like he was just stating his thoughts out loud.

“that’s why i looked for you.” You suppressed a glacial jolt; _he had looked up._ White light-guiders directed point-blank at you as though he had been privy to your previous deliberations and ought to have it rectified.

“How did you find me? How did you know it to be _me_?” You didn’t hesitate to fire your next questions.

_If he didn’t remember then how—_

“i never saw you, i realized.” And Sans didn’t wait to answer them. “i’m familiar enough with waterfall. i have a stand there,” he explained, “but when i spotted you… _i realized_ , i’ve never seen you before.”

A new edge entered his tone as he added grimly, “or i **had** and forgot.”

But then he shrugged, “it was as good as any lead.” And you blinked by how deadpan that sounded. His dim eye-lights quickly flickered around the cave.

He followed you on a hunch? He would have followed anyone on a hunch if he realized he didn’t know them? Your forehead throbbed from the frown you were grazing it with.

Sans saw it and attempted to explain, “and with your uh…aloof?” He tried, “behavior?” Your eyebrows shot up.

Right. Hiding in the grass. Suspicious. He was there then. Saw you hiding, peering from the stalks when you looked for his brother. That shadowy figure had been undoubtedly him then, he followed—

“you had me dubious so i followed.”

All the way to…

“i didn’t account, however, making you run away like that.” He motioned to the stone.

The stone that you had realized you had thrown at him. At Sans. Oh god, oh—

You paled. You saw it. No doubt the previous encounter was flashing before his mind. His very eye-lights. And you couldn’t help replaying it either. But now you saw the shadowy figure being replaced in every instance with _Sans._ How you ran away. How you threw the crystal. Appendages grabbing at you. Mittened hands trying to get your attention. The motions. The movement. Things that hadn’t made sense began to click into place as _you understood._ As you replayed.

“where did you get that anyway?” You flinched as the skeleton’s voice pried you away from that moment.

It had become so quiet. You didn’t even realize.

“What?” you hopelessly asked.

“this crystal.” Sans turned the stone in his hand, gaze focused on it. Light radiated uninterrupted just like the times when you had played with it in your hands once. “where did you get it?”

“The…the wishing room. It had fallen off.”

“huh,” he hummed, still playing with your crystal. You clenched your fingers, watching anxiously the movements of his mittened hands.

“and…that cape?”

Your cloak?

“The…dump? You know the waterfall where…trash,” you motioned with your arm, “falls?”

He hummed again, processing the information.

“and this hole is…” “Cave.” You interrupted him, correcting.

“this **hole** is your home, huh.” But Sans continued as if he hadn’t heard you, rather eyeing the cramped space that was clearly meant for one. He sounded… _mocking?_ No, _you felt **mocked.**_

Where was he going with this?

It was evident he wasn’t used to this. The ceiling was so low that standing wasn’t possible. The top of your head still touched the roof when sitting so you were always mindful of your movements. Sans’ shoulder bones were hunched, trying to make himself smaller in this space.

“What do you want, Sans?” The words left indignantly your mouth.

You were being hostile, you knew. But the questions had left you feeling ridiculed and probed at after he had invaded your space so clearly.

This was supposed to be a place where no one could find you, yet he found it by simply following your trail. A place far away from everyone and anyone.

He noted the tone in your voice but said nothing. But now his sights were on you and he watched you longer than you were comfortable. Defensive, you tried to deter your staring intruder, “What?”

 _Where was the joke?_ You thought as the edges of his grin hiked up a margin.

“i can see your face clearly,” he paused slightly, “just something i noticed.”

You brought a hand to your head, touching your hair, and realized belatedly your hood had fallen down in your unrestrained, wild kicking and trashing. You quickly righted it again.

An uncomfortable feeling encompassed you as the skeleton’s words settled.

_Just something I noticed._

You didn’t like it. You didn’t like how easy those words had come from him. How offhandedly he had commented them. And how exposed they had made you feel.

They were simple observations. But they were biting because of the fact that you hadn’t been aware.

Aware of yourself. The state of your being.

How had you appeared to Sans? You hadn’t thought self-consciously about it before…

Your appearance… Your behavior…

Hadn’t been self-conscious about it…

You had no opinion on them. But…did you make a mistake because of that?

Because you had thought that others shared your sentiment; that they thought the same…

And something itched. Convolution. You felt torn. Where did you stand with Sans now?

He had forgotten just like you wanted him to and just like Papyrus he remembered. And he demanded answers. But you…

You didn’t know how to react to him half the time… There wasn’t an established rapport like with Papyrus. You weren’t friends…

_Friends…_

_…_

“When you…when Papyrus said you wanted to… _meet me._ That was because you wanted to see if I’d made a good friend for Papyrus.”

You didn’t know why you were thinking about this again, bringing it up to him. Maybe you didn’t want to admit the hurt you were feeling when you thought someone was interested in you only for it to be for something else.

“look, i’m not going to say that wasn’t it too.”

_That wasn’t it too?_

In your life, you hadn’t thought that Sans’ response would leave you feeling more stranded than you already were. The skeleton monster picked up on your expression, “and by that look under your hood, i’m guessing you…don’t fully believe me.”

You remained silent.

“but, yeah. i **did** have other reasons. other things…going around in my skull.”

What things? You wanted to mouth but willed yourself static. The skeleton didn’t sound particularly happy. You brought your hands diplomatically clasped together to your lap and watched him.

Sans hesitated before one word left him.

“flower.”

“A flower?” you echoed.

He had stopped playing with the stone.

“lately, someone has been messing with my brother.”

“predictions, advise, flattery, encouragement…” Sans trailed off.

“all repeated to him by a flower.”

A flower was talking to Papyrus?

“i figured someone’s been playing a trick on him with the echo flowers around.”

When was this happening? You haven’t heard anything like that from Papyrus…

Something uncomfortable gathered in the pit of your stomach, something you didn’t want to believe was the case. But you asked.

“You thought it was me?”

“i just thought it was odd that he was introducing me to a friend at that time.” You slumped, your hunched shoulders sank. “the timing was convenient.” The solidity of the cave wall behind felt so cogent against your abraded back.

He didn’t deny it…

“i wouldn’t have ruled you out.” He clarified.

He had thought the ‘friend’ he would meet might be the one that was messing with Papyrus. That that ‘friend’ became confident enough to disclose his or her identity to… To what…?

_To make Sans mad?_

Mad? You looked to him. Because they were manipulating Papyrus?

You repeated Sans’ words in your head.

Predication, advice, flattery…

_Suggestions?_

Was that what it was? That they might have thought they could get away with this? That Sans would let them?

“i wouldn’t have let them.” He said simply as if he knew where your thought-process was going. Maybe he did.

But this hypothetical situation was quite…brazen. Who would be so open in their nastiness to control someone?

Perhaps someone who already was bold enough to manipulate someone through echo flowers in the first place…

“Why?”

“does it matter?”

You supposed to Sans it didn’t. It was all the same. The whys and why-nots. It didn’t change his objective. So he might as well not care for a motive that might as well be something petty as: _‘because it was fun’_.

Huh, you felt a slight shiver at that.

“Is…are they – the flowers – still talking to him?”

“dunno.”

“What—”

“i don’t trail my bros each footstep. so i don’t know—”

“But you were just now saying—”

“but what i do know is he hadn’t had quite the time to talk to them.” The monster finished before you could get another impetuous word in. His words registered.

“And…why is that?”

Sans looked at you.

“because he was busy searching for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That scene where Sans talks about flowers at grillbys always kind of struck me…for lack of a better word ‘peculiar’. I remember thinking we would come back to this kind of information and solve this…‘mystery’. And in a way we did and found out…but it always felt more personal than a background mention or easter egg. 
> 
> We were distracted by Sans chugging the ketchup than anything else, I guess lol


End file.
